Sunday, August 12, 2001
<1:51 p.m.>food poisoned too?
Man, I'm sitting here trying to figure about what to write about but I'm listening to that CKY 'china rap' thing and... okay maybe I'm seriously 11 yrs old but I think it's pretty funny. I mean some of the lines are just so irreverent and odd.
Anyway... yesterday was *not* the hottest day in Canada in 100 years... it was a few days after but I still saw it as a pretty good time to bust to Wild Water Kingdom because I had friends up and they had a car. Okay, let me just say though that WWK is probably the LAMEST water park I have ever been to. Which yes, now brings my total up to 3 but... it was hella lame. It's hardly a " kingdom." If I had to compare scale of the water park to achitectural structure, I'd say it was a 'bachelorette." First of all, they charge $21 to just get IN the park (we got there after 4 so it was the 'twilight rate' of $12.50) THEN, you have to rent a locker unless you came equipped with a waterproof fanny pack like a total ree ree and are prepared to get a possible beatdown for it. So the locker is $2, with a $2 deposit. THEN unlike every water park I've ever heard of... you actually have to PAY for yr tube!! Not just like wait till they come off a conveyer belt, but shell out $4 plus a $2 deposit. Get real! They had 4 slides (one built for tubes), a lazy river and a wave pool. That's it! Bumper boats were extra. Mini-golf was extra, batting cages were extra...
But I guess we had fun. I had stolen this unnattended tube and asked my friends to do the same. They hemmed and hawed like total homos until our moment of zen was shattered by a pre-teen boy sceaming 'You guys, where's the other tube!? where's MY tube? I can't find my tube!!" And he's getting all frantic and my friends are sorta glaring at me so I finally say "yo I didn't know it was yours. sorry" and roll it back to him and leave, scolding "Now if you had just grabbed the other tubes and we had all gotten out of here we wouldn't have had to witness that spectacle."
Ehn... this water park is in BRAMPTON. I should have known. Oh, but might I just add on a vaguely offensive note that, while I'm pretty sure we arrived to the park by car, on line for the CYCLONE i began to feel that maybe we, along with everyone else in the queue, had arrived via Air Karachi? Like I said, just a thought. Oh and there was also a guy who was like a national argument for body waxing. the SWEATER this guy was wearing. Fucking remarkable.
Then we stopped at Licks because I told the Pittsburgh kids that they sing you your dinner there... which I think is actually a lie... or maybe they only do that in the Beaches. Anyhoo, I got a veggie burger which I'm beginning to think was meat because I was having some serious... intestinal issues. Either that or I swallowed to much "water" at the Water Park.
F. I gotta go to work. I am so very full of love. It's always so misdirected.