fuck the POlice!

So yesterday, yall saw the ticket... here is the email I sent out to a few people...

Bored Toronto cop has tried to muck with plans of young girl's impeccable police record for reasons of jay walking to get to a 7-11 at 4am!

My friend Allison and I are hanging out at my house. She develops some weird hives after eating calimari and by 4am we decide to go there to get her Benadryl and maybe a slurpee. There are no cars coming across Runnymede Ave. so we jog across ... to the 7-11 parking lot in the line of sight of a policecar.

He shouts something to me ... yadda yadda yelling about how I should know better and I explain that I'm not from here "where are you from?" new york city sir.. etc ... "well even in America it is illegal to cross on a red light" and I say that I'm not trying to call him a liar just that in NYC no one ever gets prosecuted for this... (even though there is the fabled fine of $5) So then I am talking to Allison about how in NYC the fine for jaywalking is $5 and the fine for giving the finger is $3 and how if you had a ten, you'd still have $2 left to get a burrito... I was afraid he's get all jerky again about my saying that.. a minute later he said "so the fine in NYC for crossing on red is $5?"

me: yeah

"Oh well that's great. America. They know how to do everything right in AMERICA. " So now I'm like "Are you mocking my country in front of me for fun?" in a real fake serious tone and he says "no. I wish i was BORN in America.." and then goes on about some olympic track and field qualifying thing in Edmonton and how Canada won no gold medals... So I was in a weird mood so I decided to let tears well up in my eyes and just as I was about to say my dad was a Saskatchewan cop who was killed on the job he started going off about something... I tipped him off about a "suspicious black male" who was in the park on my street.

He sent some squad car over there and kept saying things like "eviDENTly" into the radio like I was totally making all this up... anyway... here are some facts in point form:

1. he is polish
2. allison and I are both females, and no, neither of us are dressed provocatively by any stretch of the imagination
3. There are a lot of prostitutes in my neighborhood evidently
4. He had a jumbo slurpee in his car and a pretty big bag of cheese curls
5. He hates americans (evidently)

here are the things I think i can use in my defense:
1. we are females in a neighborhood that is full of prostitutes and by virtue of this, creepy fuckers that are LOOKING for prostitutes.
2. There is a known rapist at Keele and Dundas... a mere 5 blocks from here
3. There were no cars coming and it was 4am
4. the reason we were jogging towards a police car and willing to run a red (which I didn;'t even notice) is because we wanted to inform him of the suspicious male in the Maria St. parkette...
5. I have an American sense of entitlement

What should I do, if anything? Oh and the fine is for $110 and I can't pay that seeing as I owe Bell Canada $300 and rent is due next week and frankly, fuck that dude.


0 comments so far

previous / next

July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007