So yesterday, yall saw the ticket... here is the email I sent out to a few people...
Bored Toronto cop has tried to muck with plans of young girl's impeccable
police record for reasons of jay walking to get to a 7-11 at 4am!
My friend Allison and I are hanging out at my house. She develops some weird
hives after eating calimari and by 4am we decide to go there to get her
Benadryl and maybe a slurpee. There are no cars coming across Runnymede
Ave. so we jog across ... to the 7-11 parking lot in the line of sight of a
He shouts something to me ... yadda yadda yelling about how I
should know better and I explain that I'm not from here "where are you from?"
new york city sir.. etc ... "well even in America it is illegal to cross on a
red light" and I say that I'm not trying to call him a liar just that in NYC
no one ever gets prosecuted for this... (even though there is the fabled
fine of $5) So then I am talking to Allison about how in NYC the fine for
jaywalking is $5 and the fine for giving the finger is $3 and how if you had a ten, you'd
still have $2 left to get a burrito... I was afraid he's get all jerky again
about my saying that.. a minute later he said "so the fine in NYC for
crossing on red is $5?" me: yeah
"Oh well that's great. America. They know
how to do everything right in AMERICA. " So now I'm like "Are you mocking my
country in front of me for fun?" in a real fake serious tone and he says
"no. I wish i was BORN in America.." and then goes on about some olympic
track and field qualifying thing in Edmonton and how Canada won no gold
medals... So I was in a weird mood so I decided to let tears well up in my
eyes and just as I was about to say my dad was a Saskatchewan cop who was
killed on the job he started going off about something... I tipped him off
about a "suspicious black male" who was in the park on my street.
some squad car over there and kept saying things like "eviDENTly" into the
radio like I was totally making all this up... anyway... here are some facts
in point form:
1. he is polish
2. allison and I are both females, and no, neither of us are dressed
provocatively by any stretch of the imagination
3. There are a lot of prostitutes in my neighborhood evidently
4. He had a jumbo slurpee in his car and a pretty big bag of cheese curls
5. He hates americans (evidently)
here are the things I think i can use in my defense:
1. we are females in a neighborhood that is full of prostitutes and by
virtue of this, creepy fuckers that are LOOKING for prostitutes.
2. There is a known rapist at Keele and Dundas... a mere 5 blocks from here
3. There were no cars coming and it was 4am
4. the reason we were jogging towards a police car and willing to run a red
(which I didn;'t even notice) is because we wanted to inform him of the
suspicious male in the Maria St. parkette...
5. I have an American sense of entitlement
What should I do, if anything? Oh and the fine is for $110 and I can't pay
that seeing as I owe Bell Canada $300 and rent is due next week and frankly,
fuck that dude.