A world too cold to listen, and too white to sing along

Fine, I guess I'm the only one who wants to see a million pictures of Death From Above? Well, take a time-out with this entry because the next one is going to be full of the same shit!

For now I'd like to talk about things that have been on my mind. Here we go:

forks with three tines: Everytime I see one of these I get grossed out. It just looks foul. Maybe someone performed some surgery with a soldering iron and amputated a tine? It's almost prehistoric. I look at them and think- does an ANIMAL eat with this tool? Who smelt you? I banish thee, loathsome trident.

Linda adds: "They are totally unbalanced with food. Might as well be eating with a stick. Shovelling it in like a fucking Inca."

the notion of a wedding planner: I had a dream last night that some rich semi-actress asked me and some of my highschool friends if we wanted to donate money or time to her sister's wedding. I burst out laughing and she asked whether or not I liked weddings. I have a feeling weddings are like kids, and the only people that like them are the people that have to. So I assume being a wedding planner would be like having a baby take a shit in your lap repeatedly.

octopus tattoos: Someone found my diary by googling "octopus tattoos" and it got me thinking that maybe I should get an octopus tattoo so that next time that happens my diary won't be such an AMAZING LETDOWN.

videogame golf: Do you want to pick up chicks or do you want to be the gayest guy in the bar? Choose now.

air quality: I spend a lot of time thinking about air quality, and the end of this thought process is always the same: bullshit. If i were a doctor I'd be the worst ever.
patient: I have cancer!
me: Do you live in New York City?
patient: Yes! I love New York City*
me: Well no shit you have cancer. Get out of my office. Go shrivel in your Murray Hill one-bedroom.

* ("I only use about 8% of what it has to offer but it's important for me to live in a "cultural epicenter"- despite my tendencies, hobbies and annual income, which all lend themselves more to life in Boise, ID")

I guess that's enough for now- we'll end on that bitter and hypocritical note. If you missed the picture bonanza hit 'previous'

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July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007