Feel the Realness.

Here are some more things you should know....

Are you familiar with NASA? It's this company that sends dudes to space every now and then and pretty much blows them up 50% of the time in a what I guess you could call the most expensive way possible.

It is NOT the western-most county of Long Island, as many a CTV newscaster would have you believe. NASA. NASSAU. NASA. NASSAU. I don't understand the confusion, it's not like NASA is some rag-tag entity a newscaster is first hearing about now- it's like not knowing how to pronounce "douchebag"



I do what I think is a very decent impression of TV's David Caruso.

This is pretty much the vibe of my impression. Fans of early NYPD Blue episodes will also appreciate my impression because Mr. Caruso has decided NOT to switch up his acting steez in the 14 years since that show was on. He has decided to switch up wives 4 times though.

Hey David Caruso! Don Johnson called, he wants his whole deal back.

Just kidding. David Caruso's great.

Did you know that I had a JOB, and then I QUIT when the dangerously lispy and often barefoot company owner asked me to pick up broken glass on the sidewalk outside on the street? And how as I was just letting the words dribble out of my mouth, I had the ladylike restraint to NOT compare his monthly newsletter to 'Awake!' , the Jehovah's Witness publication, in it's cheapness. I also didn't mention how I am totally ON to him and his "nutritionist" who comes in for like 10 minutes a day.

*cough* handjobinyouroffice *cough*

I told Mike when he cracks six figures he can have a lady come into his office and touch his dink at lunch if he really wants. But I think he'd probably rather just read some war-related shit and eat a couple PB&Js. ******************************************************

I'm afraid that's all I can stand. Don't forget about the diary my phone makes- Retardular Convenience. BYE!

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July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007