Quick Bites

Hey dudes!

If you want lengthy descriptions of weird dreams had by a zany mom in New York City, read this diary. But if you want to take approximately 9 seconds to digest some useless information, no need to go anywhere!

Hot news- Thursday edition.....


I know a lot of people with Volkwagen Jettas! Too many! And it's not like I don't dig my friends, what with their ability to both own and operate a motor vehicle, but seriously- FUCK A JETTA! I don't want to see another one of those things again. I guess I should move out of Toronto and into East LA. I don't think you'd ever catch a mexican guy driving a Jetta. Juss sayin!

HOT QUESTION ON EVERYONE'S MIND.... Is Death From Above 1979's Sebastien Grainger lactose-intolerant???

This picture I snapped inside Seb's fridge would suggest YES!!!

But yeah, then I asked Eva and she said no. So if you see Sebastien on the street, take him out for some ice cream- he is just WILD about the stuff!

Speaking of Death From Above!

Check out this gnarly assemblage of fans, featuring one dude who hasn't fully evolved yet. Don't any chicks like this band anymore?


Weird goings-on at the local health food store....

Not usually friendly with strangers type, e.b.Mann took it too far at one shitty health food store in Parkdale that suffers a bit from water damage, flies and a total weirdo owner. Weirdo owner likes to tell eBeth she's not fat even though she totes IS! He has made her turn around (gross!), asked her weight and age and marital status, as well as what she eats, whether she has a problem with drugs and alcohol. All typical shit a dude who is totally bored in his store would say to a statuesque blonde- except when he said flat-out that he "doesn't find blondes attractive"

WHY NOT YOU ASK???? ....
Well it's because most strippers are blondes. Like so- by the associative property eBeth is a fucking stripper. Blonde hair is too commonplace and GET THIS... you know what sets him apart? What really makes his standard of beauty so REAL and ORGANIC and WEIRD? He likes... drumroll please... ASIAN CHICKS!!!

At this point e.b.Mann said "Nigga PLEASE! Yellow fever? You think that's WEIRD? Every other dude I know is a fucking rice chaser..."
Health food store guy proceeded to tell Miss Mann about all the ethnic varieties of asian chicks he's dated and how his wife has like 2 percent body fat but intoned that he would cheat on her anyway- with the right ASIAN CHICK I suppose.
eBeth mentioned that, thankfully for her, HER boyfriend was really into blondes and he weirdly asked if said boyfriend carries a really colorful towel. (We have to walk by the store to get to the pool we go to ) An affirmative response was made, e.b.Mann threatened to commit suicide, scarying the store's proprietor and then left, never wanting to return again.

Hey dudes, I guess what I'm feeling is really part of a collective consciousness of bored teens!

Parkdale is kinda gay!

Mike and I took a trip to Lake Erie! Mike has gone swimming in 4 out of 5 Great Lakes whereas I have now swum in 3! Lake Erie is an early favorite!

Check out my blonde hair and our brightly colored MARC JACOBS and RALPH LAUREN towels that I guess only health-food-eating white people can enjoy!

Until next time!

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July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007