A plea....

Dudicals--

So OF COURSE my yard sale is going to happen in the middle of a hurricane so I am trying to figure out a way to move it indoors. If you were interested in coming -- maybe phone me Saturday morning- I'll even give you my cell number. 647.833.5479. Okay? Cool.

In other news, I hate goodbyes. Today is my second to last day at work and I am in a bad mood, and I'll no doubt be in a bad mood tomorrow. I've got a cold, too much to do, and while I *am* sick to death of being a secretary (simultaneously being scared as shit of having fucked up my resume) ...I will miss this job and know that it's probably the most fun I will have at work for the next five years. Blah blah and they all love me and I am the most popular person in the office, hands down, boohoo...

What else?!!? Oh yeah! Why not wrap your head around the idea that I am getting MARRIED some more and translate that realization into a financial gift.

New Yorkers- Do you have a job that pays over 60K that you would like me to do?
I am good at everything and am universally well-liked in a workplace (except possibly by squares).

I am fluent in one language, am a skilled communicator(in the aforementioned language but also with hand signals & "body language"), and awesome on computer programs of all shades. I went to a desirable uptown high school and a university where they may or may not have invented penicillin.

I am a natural detective, inquisitive and methodical. I run fast but only for short distances. I am also very adept at complaining that I am fat. If your organization could use this highly specialized skill, I could really be a "FAT ASSet" to you! I have impeccable taste in music, literature, and interiors but won't make you feel small or ignorant for your near-criminal selections.

I have a wealth of inspirational mottos I can loan you to pass off as your own such as: "Some see the glass as half empty, I see it as overflowing with like a million dollars and spilling all over the floor, creating this insane puddle of money."

That was just a TASTE of what you'll receive. Obviously you know what to do. My number is already listed above. I can't call me, you have to call me.

previous / next

July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007

gathering cobwebs it's...the ebMpire!