Just Beat It (your TV)

Last night I went over to my pal Hatty's house to try and finish up our screenplay for this contest we are entering. I think we basically have it together, so more importantly- I'd like to talk about Michael Jackson. Get ready to suckle on the bare teat of my sensitive side, kids, because there will be no MJ bashing here.

Now, in point form:

1. I really feel for Michael. He hasn't had a moment's peace since he was 5.

2. Psychologists love to talk about how things that happen to you as a child can fuck up your entire life. Then Michael Jackson shows up and everyone is all "Hahahah omg ! Look at his NOOOOOSE!" Who the fuck cares.

3. That fag reporter who totally pretended to be his friend for months and then speared him until he cried on national television? Yeah. He was a real prize. Yet everyone is all "Omg!!! He's totally white now!!" Who the fuck cares.

4. You know, child stars are always fucking up. They're always turning into heroin addicts or porn stars or murderers... or they just kill themselves. Michael may be "fucked up" but at least he tries to help people out. Hey man. I love kids! I can't build a fucking theme park for them because I don't have the dough- but Michael does. I'm sure Hollywood would be way more touched if he spent those millions on some Bentleys and a ski house in Vail.

5. Watching Jimmy Kimmel Live (so bad) afterwards and seeing Jimmy and ugly comedienne extraordinaire Cathy Griffin talk about Jackson in the same regurgitated mocking way like every other boring overweight mouthpiece they put on TV. Sarcasm so banal and so... underinformed I just wanted to barf. Like do most people still think the media DOESN'T lie? Jimmy Kimmel inexplicably has his own TV show and could probably challenge popular opinion if he wanted to but its way more hilarious to call someone a child molester. or a liar. or a lunatic.

6. Yeah it was truly a wonder to behold.

7. It was worse than ABC's other mini-epic 'The Hamptons'

Fuck. I can't even talk about it anymore. I have to go to work.

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July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007