Suicide is Painless....

Yesterday was awesome! (ferocious jumping jacks)

I worked for 9 hours (how is this awesome? Well I made money doing basically nothing and even prepared some rank Easy Mac in a Tim Hortons coffee cup. Urban MacGyver)

Then I came home and Dan and Dale and Karen were having a little barbeque up on our patio. Delicious grilled corn and baked potatoes, sausages for those that eat them, and a hunk of shark for Dan. I also debuted a little ditty I composed for Dan entitled "Cigar Lifestyle."

I made everyone come downstairs and watch SKATE TRIXXX with me. Just a little trinket I brought home from the office. It wasn't as hilarious a porno as the name suggests, but there is one part where a "skater" is fucking what looks like a 16 yr old girl in a bathroom and she says "oh YEAH. FUCK ME in this FUCKING BATHROOM!"

Maybe you had to actually *hear* this mindnumbing helium-esque vocalization for it to have the same effect- but I thought it was great. In between scenes of this nature, there was a midget who would demonstrate a basic skate trick- like an olly or a kickflip, and this porn star cohost that was obviously making him SO uncomfortable. A rare treat.

Then Dan and Dale and I got all messed up and made cool "special effects" with multiple videocameras. There was a segment called "Adventures in Ugly" ... I'll make a short quicktime later and you can get the gist.

Today is simply beautiful out. Dan, Dale and myself went to this weird army surplus store in our neighborhood and I got a badly sunfaded t-shirt and a M*A*S*H sweatshirt. It shredz. And maybe even smells like Alan Alda.

Later I will probably do something awesome, as this is the lifestyle I have grown accustomed to. And i think now is the perfect time to draw your attention to the MAKE A DONATION button I added below. That's right people. Not only do I want to do nothing with my time, but I apparently want YOU to pay for it! The gall! The audacity!

Experience the thrilling life of a Canadian- albeit vicariously- through MONEY!


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July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007