I love you (genital) warts and all / my new job

Thursday, July 12, 2001
<03:51 p.m.>

dudes! I know this is exceptionally hard to believe, but I am employed now! And not only am I employed but my job totally SLAYS! It is second best only to professional nap artist (previous job) or like... champion equestrian (like my wee sister. you rock lucy!) Anyway, I work for an online personals company and I read losers' ads all day and cancel them if they want to get it on with minors, use the word 'watersports' or include their email address and stuff. Oh and I crack up all day and send the ads to my friends and family. Oh and there's beer and BBQs and stuff. Anyway, below are some choice excerpts from ads I encountered this morning.

I love people that have a great smile, and i am kind of over weight......i love smoking and i have about 1 pack a day, i like the beach when it is a hot day, i have just lost 56 pounds but i still have 44 to go! call me somtime!

   

2. Hey my name is Joe...actually it's Mike (long story, actually its not). I'm 5'10 brown hair, blue eyes. I like to skateboard, they didnt have that on selection thing, I also enjoy making skateboard films with friends, snowboard, bowling, camping, being outdoors rules! I love driving around, pointless driving is my favorite.

   

3. I AM NOT SURE IF I AM LOOKING FORA RELATIONSHIP JUST NOW JUST LOOKING FOR AN AVAILABLE EAR MY WIFE DECIDED WE SHOULD BE "APART" AND I AM HAVING DIFFICULT TIME ADJUSTING TO BEING ALONE

   

4. Carpe Diem means "Seize the Moment" I work in the Electro-Mechanical Engineering profession.

 

5. I am a loving ,jolly person who like to make very good long lasting friends. My friends say I'm fat, but I think not, i have slimed down. I'm more than just a intellegent guy! I'm also funny.

 

6. hi my name is jonny i like cars racing and dirtbikes and really cute girls iam a dirtbike racer that is what i do for a living

   

7. I am looking for Platonic friendship! I am also the leader of Mens Organization.

 

8. I am JASON97 who MALE. My friends say I'm SUCKER FOR AN ACUT SMILE, but I think THEY ARE RIGHT. I'm more than just a AA! I'm also GENTLE. I really love to CHAT. My idea of a good time includes GOING OUT. I really want to meet a A NICE WOMAN who is BEATIFUL. I like KINDNESS in a person. BEAUTY is important to me. I'm looking for BEAUTY.


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July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007