I feel like Julia Roberts.

Do you ever have a fight with someone ...and they're making you cry and feel terrible but you can't even be mad at them because everything they're saying is like 900% true?

So now the panics are back and I really can't afford to 'be crazy' right now because I have so much stuff to do and have to do it all alone. Plus I hate when this happens and people around me are forced to realize I am not just weird and cynical - I'm also weak, depressing and insane.

Usually I just hide in the past or in an invented past or in books or as another person. I can make my hair change, my voice change, move houses, switch friends, sleep with someone lame, drink heavily. I can do and have done all those things in the past but they don't change the core 'problem'. Fun ways to cope but none of them corrective.

Frankly I never understood why such an emphasis was placed on fixing problems that need a lot of work. I hate work. Plus, feelings and emotions and outlook? Like... those are totally not tangible things and I am a very logical person. The same way I don't understand the concept of infinity, I cannot even begin to comprehend the steps needed to make "a better me"

So fuck it. I prefer to wallow. Actually you know what? I already feel a lot better. I'm going to go hit up Subway and then the LCBO. The Sketch Krew movie can wait. It really has no choice. Sure, if I have contracted the Hanta virus this might be the last week of my life but like... whatever. Meredith- I leave my computer to you.

Oh and I apologize for the platitudinous nature of this ridiculous post . Stay tuned for more insipid crap later!


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July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007