these are the BEST TAPES

I erased the entry about a fun adventure and subsequent urge to murder (unrelated) to tell you this:

Last night Karen and I went to bluegrass night with pals and pals left early so we went to mod club just for the hell of it and to see if anything is remotely different. No. Only now we don't know anyone that hangs out there. Anyway, we just sat and got our chat on over drinks. Then I demanded pizza. We picked up the boys with our cab and went home.

I'm really getting to the meat of the story. I am.

The boys go to sleep and Karen and I are watching the Winsor Pilates tapes infomercial.

Here is a brief approximation of the conversation between us-

Me: Wow. This looks harder than our tape.

Karen: WHOA!!!!

Me: What?

Karen: She lost 5" off her thighs!

Me: Shit! These tapes look...powerful

Karen: They are endorsed by Daisy Fuentes.

Me: Karen, let's order these tapes.

Karen: You're drunk!

Me: Do they or do they NOT look like the greatest pilates tapes you have ever seen???

TV: "Call within the next 10 minutes and.... "

Karen: They do. I have always admired Danny Glover's thighs.

Me: Plus. We can make copies of all of them, send the originals to my mom and it'll be like getting a second set FREE.

Karen: We can make additional copies and sell them for half price... sell them on the internet!

Me: YEAH!! Winsor Pilates bootlegs. It's settled then. I hope it hasn't been 10 minutes.

That's when I called and actually ordered the Winsor Pilates tapes while hammered from the scariest operator of all times. Here is a quote from the conversation "Oh GODDDD, how many more product descriptions do I have to sit through? I REALLY just want what was on TV! Please." (You see they try to bring your total up to like $500 by selling you a hundred companion pieces but I just kept saying "no", "no" "no thanks, just what is on the infomercial" "no I already have that" "no, not interested" , etc etc)

So folks, in 6-8 weeks Karen and I will look way better than you... and your boyfriends or girlfriends will leave you and kick it with us. Just sayin. I'm just sayin.


3 comments so far

previous / next



July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007