10 pounds of fun!!!!

Today is the 2nd day of the as-seen-on-TV "Hollywood Juice Diet" and i am torturing myself by cooking food that i can't eat. Beth is helping me conduct an experiment. You see, my overpriced special juice boasts that I will lose 10 pounds in 2 days so she was going to drink regular juice for 2 days and see if she would lose the same amount of weight. She won't for 2 reasons.

1. Beth is thinner than me and thin people don't lose weight as fast as well... people who need to lose some goddamn weight like me.

2. My juice was on TV.

I might break down and eat tonight. I don't know if that's allowed or if I'm supposed to wait till tomorrow morning. But technically I'm not supposed to be fasting at all since I am hypoglycemic and may start to foam at the mouth. I was gonna say something about "fasting for two" but I went with the hypoglycemia thing because it's actually true.

I wish I had a wad of cash or a car so I could go see Kleenex Girl Wonder at Brownie's in NYC on Valentine's Day. Lord knows I don't have ANYONE REMOTELY SPECIAL to do anything cute with and would otherwise be hiding in my bed feeling sorry for myself... Oh well. If anyone in Toronto wants to go to NYC next week let me know. Beth and I are going in April to see multiple White Stripes shows. Her hometown homies playing in my hometown. It promises to be FLY.

In other news I caused a small car accident last night. Oopsie! So there is this crosswalk and it doesn't have a walk/don't walk light, just one of those things you are supposed to push when you want to cross and then those overhead lights start blinking to alert cars. Anyway, I can never be arsed to push the dumb button so I usually just stand on the corner till a car sees me and stops because what's the difference right? But I think I figured out what the difference is! The couple in the Ford Taurus saw me, but the dude behind them in the white Chevy Suburban didn't. SLAM! The chick driving the Taurus wasn't wearing a seat belt and looked a bit shocked. Yeah. I winced and ran away. I feel kinda crappy about it. (hahaha as you can tell right?)

update: While it appeared that at Beth's house's I had already lost 5 pounds at the end of the first day, it now appears I have lost merely TWO pounds at the end of TWO days. Um... I could have eaten an entire pizza and then gone for a long bike ride and lost 2 pounds. Plus, I got my period for absolutely NO REASON. Okay, so yeah, normally girls get their periods but I try and never do this by never stopping the birth control pills. I think I last menstruated back in 95. Okay- not really, but I do make it happen as infrequently as possible.

The other weird thing is that my mom got her period the same day which wouldn't be half as weird if she hadn't already like... gone through "the change." Anyway, the point is- now this is WAR. I am going to drink this damn juice until I am 10 pounds lighter if it takes me till next week. Beth lost 5 pounds. Bitch.

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July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007