Cum Hither

Dear Diary,

You don't want to hear about how I'm totally starved for male attention do you? I didn't think so. And I wanted to write about this gross/hilarious dream that vaguely relates- but I'm in mixed company.

Let's just say if you don't want to hear me and Karl rap about semen, turn the page now.

me: This XXXX XXXXXX fucker is stalking me in my dreams!

Karl: So he's in your dreams?

Me: i had a dream that he wedged his wang thru the bottom of my bra and came on the underside of my chin in like 30 seconds.

Karl: Whaaat???? You lie

Me: No. It was an actual dream

Karl: thats gross, what if his penis has worms or diseases?

Me: It's didn't. it was just like mountains of semen. it's weird. anytime I have a dream that involves ejaculation it's always like a COMICAL/OBSCENE amount

Karl: hahah thats your dream i suppose. in more ways that one

Me: that a dude will produce a bucket of semen? i never thought of it as my "dream" per se

Karl: yeah right, youve talked about it before

Me: hahah amounts? i know i was talking about consistancy...

Karl: Same thing!

Karl then immediately left to go fishing.

But earlier, in a similarly disgusting conversation Mike asked me if girls are disappointed when dudes don't produce a healthy amount of jizz. There was some back-and-forth on what was 'healthy' and if there is such a thing as excessive- but in the end I spoke for my gender and said we make a collective "sad face" when a mere dribble emerges. I always feel like I have underperformed.

How do you feel?


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July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007