achtung! falling elderly women!

9. december. 2001

So my mom calls today and starts a story with "Okay first of all, before I tell you anything - everybody's okay..."
me: Yeah. Who got robbed?
"No- no one got robbed. Listen to this...grandma fell through a roof, or rather...she fell through the attic floor into the garage."
me: hahahahahahahha what the fuck?!

So what happened was, my grandma was looking for some christmas lights in the attic, which is pretty damn inaccessable considering they live in a retirement community you know? And my grandpa keeps telling her to come out and not to "go over there" where these boxes were, but she went "over there" (where there wasn't really a floor, just this plasterboard stuff) and the next thing you know, grandpa hears a crash and looks down the hole to see my grandma on the cement floor of the garage below.

She got up and was all in a tizzy about how her earrings flew off in all the commotion and her new glasses may have gotten scratched.

My grandpa is pretty much blind so they called my Uncle Ray and Aunt Sue to come get them and take them to the hospital. In the meantime, my grandpa wanted to inspect the hole in the roof because as my grandma fell she tore all these wires that run through the house and my grandpa didn't want live wires hanging around. So he gets up on the ladder to check the wires- and yeah, totally falls off the ladder

When Ray arrives they are both icing some bruises but having a fight. Of course. Here's the best part. My grandpa's argument was obviously "I told you not to go over there!" and hers was "Yeah but you didn't tell me WHY!"

A few hours later they are pretty much 100% fine and leaving the emergency room and asking if anyone wants to go to the buffet. Nothing like being 85+ and falling through floors to work up an appetite. But I swear to God my grandmother's novenas work. Any other elderly person falling 10 feet onto cement would have died from the shock alone. Hell, I can't imagine I would walk away unscathed. But they're okay. My grandma even found her earrings.


If you want another glimpse into the life of my zany grandparents, feel free to read this entry.


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