Waste Your Evening, Wastoid!

*** Highlights of The Shit***

 

Chicken, Booze and Booty- Wherein I experience the joy and the pain of Christmas with my family and am humbled by a man with one leg. December 2002.

Let's Talk about Art - Beth and I go to Dale's art opening and talk about mythical beasts. April 2003.

Oochie Wally Wally - I have an aggravating discussion with a stranger about my vagina! Kinda. Summer 2002.

Retarded Fake Survey Time! - An enlightening interview with me. Whocares 2002.

Amazing Marketing Opportunities of Destruction - I design some clip art for post-9/11 New York. Heartwarming.

Remembrances of Things Past- Some sick games I used to play as a child. Thanksgiving.

Here's the Injustice! - I get made fun of in Trucker magazine, go to a bunch of parties including one where everyone has to rock a moustache.

Oh, and everything smells like Urine- A day at the hospital, lady loses a child, convict threatens to kill me, Canada Day. Summer 2003

High Sticking - Comical Photograph, "Karl Says"

Notes from the Underground - A creepy, awkward and totally unintelligible letter from my father when he was a raging junkie.

The Good Static - Alex's weird idiosyncracies come to life. Fall 2003

Lights? Camera Action! - A bunch of photos from Blackout 2003. Kinda funny maybe?

"I'm like so what I'm drunk" - I write to Karen with an offer to send her a real life hobo, Sebastien disses Ottawa

Like Being Stung By a Million bees at Once - Some fucked up website about "skin on unusual parts." Visually stimulating and timeless.

Don't Drink and Kickbox- This entry features a video of me wiping out! Classic.

Life is beautiful. If by "beautiful" you mean "retarded" - A fantastic photo essay brimming with hilarity. Fall 2003.

My Diary: Your own personal Jesus - Part 2 of the aforesaid photo-essay, though not as hilarious.

Even When She Jumps on the Bed- I confess my secret desire to own a Tempurpedic Swedish Sleepsystem in this artful essay!

Remembrance Day Party - Wherein I tell some embarrassing story about being a closet Billy Joel fan / a poignant story about my parents divorce

The Jewel in New Jersey's Crown- A trip to wallet-shredding Atlantic City with Alex. I left out the part where a homeless man eats Alex's popsicle when he put it down for like one second.

Conversations with Rasheed - Karl and I talk about how shitty Adbusters is and then he goes and pees a rainbow. Awesome.

Disgruntled Maid takes Chinaman Hostage: SARS blamed - Just like the title says. Summer 2003

I'm moving on with your life- Another SARS related thing where I go to Taco Bell and begin reminding people my birthday is imminent! I know that sounds really fascinating. Fuck it. Don't bother.

 


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