F U Pigeon!

Let's talk about something that aggravates me.

So I live in a desirable high rise in the West Village (note to stalkers: we have 24 hr doormen so don't even) and our windows overlook this really nice park, one corner of which features a rotating gallery of bums.

Another feature of the park are the multitude of people that feel it is their civic duty to feed vermin thrice daily despite no less than 8 signs prohibiting JUST THAT. All around the gate that surrounds the majestic three-tiered fountain are signs that read "DO NOT FEED THE BIRDS" - for the illiterate there is even a picture of a bird with a gun pointed at its face.

So why all the confusion? I have been tempted to put up signs next to each of the existing signs that say "As in, DO NOT FEED THE BIRDS" in case they thought the first sign was "just being facetious."

I've also thought about maybe buying an air rifle and sniping people from my window. Feeding the birds also feeds the rats- and rats don't even know where the Marc Jacobs store is, let alone can afford anything there! Do these birdfuckers really think the pigeons are having a HARD TIME in NEW YORK CITY finding food and all? If New York City was a bad place to eat, they'd go somewhere else! They have fucking WINGS.

And what the fuck! As if throwing chumpy bread on the ground is a rad hobby! If these people are hellbent on looking retarded they should really just take up Tai Chi or play chess to blend in with every other crazy person that hangs out in public parks all day.

Sorry. I just needed to tell you about that.


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July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007