Large Groups of Noisy People

...
Karl: i never said they did
me: i didn't say you did
Karl: youre being semi racist. im calling the temp agency
me: hahaha. dude I had to take a 'personality assessment'
Karl: and what did it say?
me: it was all weird shit like... "if work is stressful i have no problem turning to a movie or television" true or false
me: do they mean on the job? like i'll be all FUCK A SARS.... everybody loves raymond!
Karl: yeah i dont understand that either
me: "i don't like working around groups of noisy people" ...then there was one that i totally couldn't answer something about "when i get angry...blah blah something about letting go" ... so I wrote "define 'let go'"
me: meaning.. let the anger go or like.. let go with my AK?
Karl: hahah yeah it sounds like those things are worded pretty shitty. ...its made for like dumb people where the answer is already there. like "do you like magic or work? decide now."
Karl: "BOTH"
me: HAHAHHA
me: or there was one like "do you work because you like it or out of a sense of duty" so I wrote in neither because "phone bills" was not one of the choices
Karl: yeah how dumb are those options
me: also "you give the distinct impression to everyone you work with that you are destined to succeed"
me: hi guys.. I'm new here but in 5 years i hope i'm in a position to fire all of you!
Karl: just write everything they want to hear. "yes, they love me at work"
Karl: write "i am destined to become emperor of china via SARS desk work"
me: answer "i'm kinda commie. I want to work hard for little money and eat gruel"
Karl: hahaha
Karl: "kinda commie. sometimes monster... i eat sticks and bones, or can die and vanish if hit by swords, mini fireballs or lazers"
me: TRUE

That said --- I have a new job folks! One that I can actually tell respectable adults about without having to concoct a world of lies!

I'm going to be working at a hospital with SARSies! I get my own goggles, gloves, gown and mask! Just like being in a low-rent circus! Basically i stand around until people want to come into the hospital and then I harrass them until they admit that they have SARS, then I make them use some handi-wipes and send them back on the street like dogs.


7 comments so far

previous / next



July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007