"you will wake up...in a different country"

12 September 2001
They're already referring to it as "yesterday"...I don't know what to say. I have been fielding calls, crying and watching tv all day. I still can't even believe what I'm hearing or seeing, but I know that if I take the time to force it to sink in I may start weeping and never stop- and so, I push it out of my head. It will become very real soon enough.

I called my landlord around midnight just to see if he wanted to drive around for a while. We ate at Vesta Lunch but of course they had the radio on so there was only one thing for us to talk about. But as much as I'm getting almost sick of hearing about it- to talk about anything else seems so petty and horrible in light of the situation. I could barely watch the Simpsons. But you know, i did, because it's the Simpsons.

My mom's okay. She got hit in the leg with a chunk of drywall but it was her own damn fault. Fashion Week is cancelled so her world is kinda out of business right now which is both really bad and ...kind of a relief I guess? The rest of my family is okay. My cousin and uncle both work at the NYSE. They were evacuated at around 10am.

I have to go to work tomorrow and I'm sick and tired and need a shower and I'm scared and my boss doesn't get it and people in my office saw me get emotional and i don't know how much I like that. I was trying to maintain my extreme primness. Now they are under the assumption that I am a human being. I guess that's alright.

Oh and I said a few things today ...out of anger and fear that I shouldn't have said so... yeah.. my bad to people that had to hear them.

And sorry for the totally boring entry. At least I got a bunch of books in the mail from Amazon and so did Layne! weird! Layne, I hope you're doing better. I hope everyone is doing okay.


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