Lame Confessions...

1. I pretty much missed my stop on the subway coming home from work today because I was playing a particularly challenging game of Sudoku on my phone.

2. Someone asked me if I was hungry today and I said "no" when I really meant "yes" but I didn't want to seem like a hog because it wasn't even 11:30 yet.

3. When I was young (6?) I had this annoying second-cousin who was 3 and everyone fawned on him and he had a name that ended with "junior" and basically I was really jealous. I heard him running and I opened this door really fast because I knew his reflexes were too undeveloped to allow him to stop in time. He toppled over like a weeble and started wailing. Then I burst into tears all "OMG! I feel terrible! Total accident!!" and everyone thought it was so precious that I was crying because I hurt him. I mean, I think I *did* feel a little guilty? But I was probably crying because I thought it'd eliminate the chance of my getting busted.

4. This isn't like a "secret" it's just something really shitty I used to do- here goes: Okay so I was super fucked up as a little kid and I'd get in these moods- and like, I'd be talking on the phone with my grandma when all of a sudden I'd be like "God, I hate you. You're so stupid...." and my mom would run over and take the phone away from me and apologize and hang up and then have a talk with me. I'd ask her to get grandma back on the phone so I could apologize, and as soon as she did I'd be like "Hi grandma! I just wanted to say that ...I hate you, you're stupid!" I guess I thought this was just uproarious. Have I told you that one before? I think it will definitely make #5 make more sense.

5. K so, sometimes my grandparents would pick me up from school if we were going to hang out or I was going to spend the weekend at their house in Brooklyn- and sometimes they would bring me to school on a Monday after such a weekend. In grade 2 we had to write a little blurb about how we had spent our weekend and mine went something like this. "I went to my grandparents house in Borough Park. They gave me vodka. That's why I was late for school. I had a hangover." (Just imagine that with a bunch more spelling errors) Needless to say, my grandparents were completely mortified- my mother was constantly getting calls from the school- and none of this shit was true. I didn't even know why I was doing it.

6. My mom and I totally bolted from some nice restaurant in Chelsea once. But to be fair, the service and food were really really awful.

7. I once left a tampon in for almost 24 hours.

previous / next

July 18 - 16 July 2007
Weekly recap. - 28 May 2007
That's Immaterial! - 25 May 2007
A Shalom to Arms! - 07 May 2007
YEAH RIGHT - 20 April 2007

gathering cobwebs it's...the ebMpire!